my tumblywumbly

shit that strikes my fancy

kushandwizdom:

Words of Emotion

Socialism:

You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.

Communism:

You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.

Fascism:

You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.

Nazism:

You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.

Bureaucratism:

You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..

Traditional Capitalism:

You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

An American Corporation:

You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.

A French Corporation:

You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

Japanese Corporation:

You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.

An Italian Corporation:

You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A Swiss Corporation:

You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

Chinese Corporation:

You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

An Iraqi Corporation:

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......

Counter Culture:

'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'

Surrealism:

You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

Apathyologism:

You have 2 cows. You do not care.

Fatalist:

You have 2 doomed cows...

Atheism:

You have 2 cows. There is no God.

A West-Country Corporation:

You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.

A Brazilian Corporation:

You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.

Russia:

You have two cows. Since they are both female, if you happen to keep them in the same stable you will pay a 5,000 rouble fine for homosexual propaganda.

PETA:

You have two cows. You kill them both. You then use naked women to convince other people that killing cows is wrong.

Moffat:

You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time traveling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England. As you assume the throne, you throw them off a building.

Hussie:

You have 2 cows. You ask for another one. Instead of getting just 1 cow, you get 2,485,506 cows.

Romney:

You have 2 cows. You are not the president of the united states.

Once-ler:

You have 1 cow. Everyone decides to make 5 different versions of that cow.

Old Spice:

You have 2 cows. The cows are now diamonds. I'm on a horse.

An Irish Corporation:

You have a million cows because they're everywhere

Tumblr:

You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.

Also Tumblr:

I give you a hamburger.

Night Vale:

You do NOT have two cows. Cows do not exist. What's a cow? Show me a cow! That's not a cow! Who let you in here?

Tom Hiddleston:

You have two cows. You are very sorry for them.

Thranduil:

You do not have two cows, you have an elk. Riding on two cows is not majestic. Also the dwarves are on fire.

Dwarves:

You had two cows but now they're on fire.

Bilbo Baggins:

You did not invite those two cows for dinner.

Cows:

The shit you go through.

This post:

Started off as a post that explained different governments but then everything changed when the fire nation attacked

Achievement Hunter:

You have one cow and he gets put in a hole.

Captain America:

You have two cows, one is brainwashed and the other falls out of plane. The first jumps out after him. Everyone cries a lot.

Hannibal Lecter:

Doesn't have any cows, but somehow still has hamburger

Will Graham:

Rescues 2 cows and 5 more dogs. He now has 13 dogs and 2 cows living on his property. This is his design

“Generally speaking, the most miserable people I know are those who are obsessed with themselves; the happiest people I know are those who lose themselves in the service of others…By and large, I have come to see that if we complain about life, it is because we are thinking only of ourselves.”

—   Gordon B. Hinckley 

(Source: observando, via mybrainsfarts)

stonerthings:

Same

stonerthings:

Same

(via shmurmurs)

majiinboo:

  • Do not forget Michael Brown
  • Do not forget how the media dehumanized him and tried to justify his murder
  • Do not forget how peaceful protests were painted as savage riots
  • Do not forget police armed with military grade weapons terrorized and arrested black civilians
  • Do not forget Darren Wilson being awarded over $200,000 in fundraiser donations for murdering an unarmed black child
  • Do not forget that this system was not built to defend us, but to control us
  • Do not forget Ferguson 

(via shotsfuckingfired)

petitepasserine:

the-hairy-heterophobe:

ablogforemily:

shamelesslyunladylike:

the-hairy-heterophobe:

if anybody asks me why i hate men, i’m just gonna redirect them to this post.

it’s pretty fucking obvious that men only want to invest in breast cancer research to further degrade, objectify, and jerk off to body parts they already feel 100% entitled to. that’s what is at stake for them. 

what about the women whose “tatas” weren’t saved? how must they feel being surrounded by awareness ads that focus more on keeping women’s sexy-sexy-titties-to-continue-titillating-the-males than saving real life human beings and helping survivors? 

If anyone’s wondering, those posts came from here. It’s a forum for breast cancer support. Give it a read, and you’ll see how many women are outright abandoned by their husbands, sometimes after being married for decades, because their “tatas” couldn’t be saved.

This culture of “save the tatas” even goes as far as the doctor’s offices themselves. Most doctors request that the husband be present during surgical consultations, as though he has an equal say in the patient-professional discussion.

If the woman is single, as was my case, doctors have actually recommended postponing surgery until she finds a relationship, because “it could be nearly impossible to find someone who accepts it [your unnatural tatas] in years to come”. 

I’m 15 months post-mastectomy, and the date I had this past week was the first time since then that a guy hadn’t reacted negatively to my scars. The relief was so overwhelming that I was fighting back tears. When I told him —essentially warning him that my body wasn’t what he must be expecting — I felt so guilty; it seemed to have the same weight and shame as telling someone I had some sort of an incurable STI or a felony record.

I shouldn’t have felt that way. I should not be ashamed of choosing to live. 

Thank you for your important commentary! I hope you find someone who can love you for who you are and admire your strength as a survivor.

holy shit this just makes me so immensely disgusted and i actually feel sick to the core??? just. holy shit.

(via shotsfuckingfired)

wordsandturds:


is this what a gangbang is cause I’m down

pancakke

wordsandturds:

is this what a gangbang is cause I’m down

pancakke

(Source: 90s90s90s)

barack-obottm:

senior pics

fvtvres:

ah

(Source: c3pmeow)